Some people point to the platypus as proof that God has a sense of humor. Theron Denson points to himself.
Not that he’s ungrateful for his gift. It’s just that it’s so - unusual.
"You don’t have to tell me, believe me," laughs Denson, a 1982 graduate of Rock Bridge High School. He’s been getting incredulous, open-mouthed looks ever since he was an 11-year-old singing in the church choir. Because whenever little Theron opened his mouth, he channeled Neil Diamond.
Sure, Diamond’s a Jew from Brooklyn, and Denson’s a self-described short, bald, black guy from West Virginia by way of Columbia. But God works in mysterious ways, says Denson - or, as he’s now known, the Black Diamond.
The women at Fairview Road Church of Christ who first told Denson about his surprising resemblance to Diamond might be surprised to learn he’s parlayed his gift for impersonation into a full-blown career. Back then, Denson had never even heard of the pop singer/songwriter.
"It was a predominantly white church," says Denson in a phone interview from his home in Charleston, W.Va., "and all the white ladies would turn around and say, ‘Oh my goodness. Young man, you sound just like Neil Diamond. Honey, doesn’t he sound just like Neil Diamond?’ I had a perplexed look on my face, like, ‘Who is Neil Diamond?’ "
Denson went out and bought a copy of "The Jazz Singer" soundtrack. But what he heard left him dismayed. Did he really sound like that gravelly voiced white guy? His mom assured him that he didn’t - though that was a white lie designed to soothe her son. She knew he was a vocal shoe-in for Diamond the whole time.
"Since then I’ve just learned to roll with it," Denson says. "And I’ve learned there’s a lot worse people vocally I could sound like."
The first inkling that his skills weren’t just a party trick but a possible mother lode came when the real Neal Diamond came to Charleston a few years back.
Word of Denson’s talent had leaked out, and a newspaper there wanted to interview him before the big show. The paper ran a full-page article in the living section, along with a phone number people could call to hear Denson singing Neil Diamond tunes.
The number was clogged with calls, and a few days later, a lady called to ask Denson how much he’d charge to sing at her daughter’s birthday party.
"I thought, how much would I charge?" Denson says. "I’ve done this for free, like a David Letterman stupid human trick, for years."
The only other time he had been paid for being Diamond was when he was caught in Chicago without train fare. He started singing "America" and some other covers, and he made it on the train with $40 in tips.
For his first real appearance at the birthday party, he charged $50. That night was the real Diamond’s concert, and Denson’s story was picked up on local television.
"Within the next week I had three different events," Denson says. He bought some background tapes to sing along to and kept inching up the price of his show, waiting for someone to balk at paying that much for a Diamond impersonator.
They never did. Since then, the Black Diamond has appeared at events all over West Virginia. Denson polished his act, a little tongue-in-cheek and a lot of true homage, and learned his way around Diamond’s 40-album discography. On stage, he sports Diamond-style sparkly shirts and uses a few of the singer’s patented gestures.
The show was a hit with even the most incredulous Diamond fans. Though Denson always prefaces his shows by saying, somewhat unnecessarily, that he’s not the real Diamond, swooning women rush the stage anyway. Denson’s show even became a way for lobbyists to lure legislators to events at West Virginia’s statehouse.
Bolstered by his success, Denson quit his job at a Charleston hotel to promote the Black Diamond Show full time. He now has an impressive Web site, www.blackdiamondvocals.com, and is ready to do what it takes to make a living as the Black Diamond.
"I’m at the opening of an envelope, I tell you," says Denson, who makes his first Missouri appearance tonight at Maxwell’s in Osage Beach.
An essential ingredient of Denson’s success is his sense of humor, something invaluable for the world’s only black Neil Diamond impersonator.
"I really am happy to be doing the Black Diamond," Denson says. "Sure, I’d love it if people heard me sing and said, ‘Theron Denson, what a great voice!’ But I learned a long time ago they’re not going to say that. They say, ‘Theron Denson, what a great voice!"